


Kindness ( in the dark.)

by Lady_Talla_Doe



Series: pollenverse [3]
Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Guilt, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rush's Emotions, Young's Guilt, meet unstoppable force, nutvember, unmovable object
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Talla_Doe/pseuds/Lady_Talla_Doe
Summary: Rush has been avoiding Young since the incident in in medical, darting out of rooms when the Colonel enters, and not showing up for his shifts when they're scheduled with Young. Not that he blames him, but the crew still didn't know about the incident with the strange alien plant, and the fallout from it, and for both their sake's he tries to pin down Rush long enough to hash things out.
Relationships: Nicholas Rush/Everett Young
Series: pollenverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999705
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Kindness ( in the dark.)

**Author's Note:**

> This deals with rape recovery and with Rush's guilt about his own involvement in it.  
>  _Tied_ and _Ginger root_ are parts 1 & 2 and recommended reading since this story has been cut into three pieces to fit into a writing prompt challenge.  
> for nutvember prompt #4 "in the dark"

* * *

* * *

It was happening _again._

Everett grit his teeth and tried to squash his frustration, but it was hard; Rush was supposed to be _here_. But again, he had showed up to the scientist’s assigned post, only to have no one know _where_ he was.

He turned in a circle in the corridor outside the terminal room, having excused himself, and scrubbed his hand over his hair. Considered calling for him over the radio; But no, he couldn’t do that. This thing between them was private – the crew had no idea what had happened. His people who _had_ been there could speculate, but they weren’t going to spread rumors, and TJ would never tell a soul, no matter how much he could tell this was weighing on her.

She had looked so shaken, when she’d come to unlock his handcuffs. Rush had been crying- despite his words, Everett had felt his tears. They had soaked into the side of his neck, as the scientist groaned against his shoulder while Everett’s cock had slipped from his body- it hadn’t been a good groan. He had moved stiffly as he’d cleaned up and dressed himself, and then redressed Everett. His eyes had been red rimmed, although he’d scrubbed any trace of tears from his cheeks before turning to face Everett, but his expression still haunted him.

_“Are you hurt?”_ he had asked, and it had felt stupid even as he’d asked it, because _yes_ , Rush was injured; he could see the blood soaking into the collar of his shirt from the mark he’d left on his neck. It wasn’t what he meant, of course. Rush had avoided his gaze as he straightening his clothes, and did his belt up again. He hadn’t spoken a word, and when he was done, he’d turned around, and left the room.

That had been nearly two weeks ago.

Destiny had dropped out of FTL two days after the incident, and Young had remained in his quarters, under lockdown by TJ’s orders.

But Camile had told him Rush had never showed up. As far as anyone knew, he had disappeared into the bowels of the ship the moment they’d dropped out of FTL, only responding to verify he was still on Destiny right before the end of the sixteen hour window for gate travel closed. He’d stayed down whatever rabbit hole he’d found for the next two days.

That time, he hadn’t verified he’d been okay. People had been _scared._ Young had thought- he didn’t even want to admit what he’d thought. But the reappearance of the scientist, looking down his thin nose at everyone despite his short height was an almost physical relief. He slept the full night for the first time in _days_ , that night, so sure things were starting to mend.

Now, things had returned mostly to normal. Rush was acting his normal surly self, barbed tongue and acid retorts for everyone _but_ Everett. If he so much as heard a whisper the Colonel was going to be somewhere, he packed up and left without a word.

Everett slumped against the wall, taking the weight off is bad knee with a sigh.

_We can’t keep this up_.

Resigned, he clicked on his radio.

“Rush, turn to channel 3. Ignore me, and I’m going to track you down and have this face to face.”

~*~

Ice poured down his spine. He looked at his radio, but couldn’t bare to reach for it.

Eli paused at the terminal across from him, frowning at him. “Um. Are you guys fighting?”

Nickolas tried to hide his unease, forcing the tension back out of his shoulders. “No, I just don’t want to talk to him.” He ignored the radio, returning to his task.

But it was impossible to focus. His skin was buzzing, he needed to _leave_. This hiding spot had been compromised. He tried, and failed, to work for a few minutes longer, all the while his mind was running calculations on how long it would take Colonel Young to first find where he had gone - not actually hard, his code stood out, and it was obvious when someone knew what to look for which terminal he was using, but then again perhaps he was giving them too much credit- and then walk from his last location to his new one.

He felt some of the tension between his shoulder blades ease as he remembered the only person who knew that particular trick was in the same room as him-

“Rush.” Said Colonel Young, from the doorway.

His eyes flicked up to Eli. He mouthed _sorry_ at Nickolas, as he unplugged his computer, snagging his keno from the air and stuffing it under his arm, presumably to give them privacy.

“I’ll just. Give you guys some privacy. Please don’t make me regret this,” He shot a nervous finger gun at Colonel Young as he walked past him, looking uncomfortable.

The door closed behind Eli, leaving them alone in a room together for the first time in twelve days. Nickolas dropped his face into his hands, leaning his weight on is console as he laughed mirthlessly.

“Relentless bastard, aren’t you?” he muttered, more to himself than Colonel Young.

~*~

“ _Rush_ ,” Everett started, relieved he hadn’t flat out run from the room, and he took a step toward him.

The effect was instant. Rush hissed a curse, tensing like a wild animal caught in a trap. His eyes burrowed into Everett, and he looked—

_Scared_.

He took a step back, guilt a heavy, sour swirl in his gut.

“ _Don’t_.” Rush spat the word. Tension rolled off him. “Stay over there.”

His fingers were curled over the edges of the console, knuckles bloodless from how hard he held it. Everett held his hands up, nodding slowly.

“I just want to talk, Nickolas. Nothing else.” He switched tactics.

“Do you? Alright, _Everett_ ,” Rush practically flew out from behind the console, fury or fear making his thin frame shake. His face was pale, eyes wide, and closer he could see the dark marks many sleepless nights had left. His eyes glittered like he was moments from tears.

Ru— _Nickolas_ , stopped in front of him, looking like he wanted to hit Everett. He stayed just out of arm’s reach, carefully teetering back when he realized how close he’d come.

“You _raped_ me,” he hissed, and from the way his voice wavered and broke, Everett would bet this was the first time he had put it into words. “I- I didn’t say _no,_ but that was rape!”

Tears fell down his cheeks, spilling fast and thick. They ran down into his stubble, escaping down his neck. The hostility evaporated, as Nickolas finally faced what he had been avoiding.

“That was _rape_.” He whispered, like he was arguing with himself.

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry, Nick. I know that doesn’t help, but I’m so fucking sorry.” He said simply, keeping his hands to himself as Nickolas slowly sank down to sit on the floor, covering his face with his hands. He let him cry for several moments, before just standing there and _watching_ was too much, and awkwardly, Everett crouched down to his level, reaching out a hand to touch his elbow.

Nickolas didn’t lean away from him, didn’t flinch at his touch or curse him out. He shuffled closer, and soon as he was close enough, Everett gently coaxed Nickolas to lean against him.

They sat there on the floor for long enough to make his knee _hurt_ , Nickolas hiding his wet face against Everett’s jacket. Other then that, he didn’t touch him- his arms were wrapped around himself, fingers twisted in the sleeves of his shirt as his tis body shook with swallowed, near silent sobs.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you.” He mumbled, into the crown of his head, sweeping his hand gently up and down his back, then in soothing circles.

~*~

The Colonel let him cry himself out, until the tight spot in his chest that had felt like it was filled with nothing but rage and pain, was drained entirely, leaving Nickolas feeling rung out and hallow. His tears dried up, leaving his face and throat sticky, and eventually his knees and back started to protest the strange kneeling position he’d ended up in, face pressed into Colonel— _Everett’s_ shoulder. He became aware of the slow, absent-minded stroke of Everett’s hand over his hair, his other arm wrapped loosely around him, movement’s mechanical after the length of time they’d been sitting there. Lift, pet from the crown of his head to the nape of his neck, repeat. At some point he had curled his fingers tightly in Everett’s jacket, and his hands felt cold and bloodless like the rest of him, but he could feel that underneath them Everett was warm.

“…All done?” Everett asked softly.

He nodded, and the room swam. Hands steadied him, braced him as he slumped forward, ears ringing.

“Let me guess; skipping meals as well as sleep?” A thread of teasing warmth took the sting out of the accusation.

Everett grunted when he got to his feet, holding Nickolas under the elbows through the greying of his vision. “Come on, I have a power bar and some water in my quarters. You can wash your face and sleep there if you want.” He offered, hesitant.

Nickolas looked at him carefully.

“Where are you sleeping?” He asked, carefully.

“Wherever you want me to.”

~*~

Nickolas was practically dead weight, arm slung over his shoulder and swaying with exhaustion by the time they walked to Everett’s quarters. He had considered talking Nick to his own rooms, or the infirmary, but one was too far, and the other was likely traumatizing. So he’d gotten them both here.

“I’ll find that power bar,” he assured him, as he sat the scientist on the edge of the bed, after a moment’s consideration. He’d sleep on the couch, but the bed was warmer.

Something snagged his shirt, stopping him from getting up. Everett looked down at Nickolas in confusion, and arched a brow at the hand fisted in his jacket.

“Lean down.”

“Going to bite off my nose?”

Nick snorted a laughed, and smiled a _real_ smile; it spread across his face like a rock hitting a pond, sudden flash of white teeth and ripples of laugh lines Everett rarely got to see, quickly fading back to a still surface. But he seemed calmer for it.

Everett smiled back, relieved to see it.

“No. Just do it.”

So he did, leaning in to humour him; his strength took him by surprise, the hand fisted in his jacket dragging him lower as Nickolas shoved himself up on his elbow, pressing their mouths together is a surprisingly soft, relatively chaste kiss.

He broke it by dropping back in the covers with a sigh, hand going limp as his eyes fluttered closed.

“Goodnight Colonel…” he whispered, already most of the way asleep.

Everett sat on the edge of the bed, staring in shock at his face, relaxed in sleep.

Maybe that meant they could recover from this, or maybe it meant Nickolas was even more out of it then he’d thought. Ether way, he stood quietly, and helped himself to the spare blanket, turning the lights down as far as they’d go, and went to his bed on the sofa.

Whatever it meant; he didn’t want to hurt him more.

That night, sleep was hard to find, but when it came it was deep and peaceful, not plagued with the nightmares that had woken him so often the past few weeks. He dreamed of holding someone carefully, and resting his nose against their hair as they held each other.


End file.
